Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
