Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
