This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
