i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am available for nakedness
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
