dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
