Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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