I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
