Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
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she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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