Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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