I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
