woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
