As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
