i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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