bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
