If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
