I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
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I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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