Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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