so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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