A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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