Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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