Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
