She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
