official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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