Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
