I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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