Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
