Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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