And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
They have beer where we have blood.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
