My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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