I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize