i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
