Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
