Sry I called you an 8
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
