I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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