Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
