So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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