I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
