Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
