So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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