shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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