im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
