It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
