There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
