My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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