what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
