ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her vagine was all disorganized.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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