Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
