Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i now understand why vodka
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
