worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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