It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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