fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
