guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
