That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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