thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
