there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
