The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
