Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
