We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
