we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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