Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
