maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
