remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
