I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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